The rest of the story . . .

When I started this blog, I gave a brief history of our experiences in the international adoption world, but I said very little about what brought us to this decision. Now, things have happened in our life that's changed everything, and I feel the need to share our entire story. So here it is.

I always knew I wanted children some day, but the birth of our niece in Jan. 2006 was what helped us make the decision to finally start a family. We tried to have a child for a year. All the "experts" say that if you don't get pregnant in a year there is usually a problem, so we began the first round of infertility testing. The first of what eventually became three different infertility diagnoses had us ending up at a fertility clinic. We were supposed to have a small, fixable problem, but were told they wouldn't even treat us until we'd succombed to another battery of tests and spent thousands of dollars, nevermind the invasiveness (and possibility of failure) of it all. Chris and I decided it wasn't worth it. We'd met several people who'd had successful international adoptions, so we decided that adoption was the route for us.

By this time, it was August 2007 and as I stated in my first blog entry, we chose an adoption with Vietnam. One year later, Vietnam was closed and we were back to square one on the adoption front. We started the Nepal paperwork, but also revisited the idea of a pregnancy. This time, our first diagnosis was proven wrong, we received a second diagnosis, I underwent a surgical procedure to correct it, and ended up with a third and very final infertility diagnosis: I had blocked fallopian tubes, could only get pregnant through in-vitro fertilization, and if I were to get pregnant on my own, it would most likely be ectopic. In-vitro is very expensive and only has a 40% success rate, so we gave up on pregnancy for good and focused all our hopes on Nepal.

That was August 2008. In April 2009, I took a pregnancy test, convinced that I was sad, pathetic, and crazy to even think I might be pregnant after all we'd been through, but it was true. I was pregnant. The doctors had me in the office for an ultrasound immediately, but it wasn't ectopic. There was a small black spot in my uterus, exactly where it was supposed to be. And now, nine months later, we have a baby daughter. She's beautiful, healthy, and wonderful.

How did this happen? We're really not sure. Perhaps I was just one of the 12% of women who have a false reading on the dye test. Perhaps it was the hot yoga classes I started in September (a fantastic exercise), or perhaps it was all the people who'd prayed for us over all of this. I suppose we'll never know.

So where does that leave us on the adoption front? I'm afraid nowhere. Now that our daughter is here and a part of our household, we have to officially change all of our paperwork. Nepal's rule is that we have to wait six months. Also, they have a birth order rule that says we can't adopt a child older than the children already a part of the household. So essentially, our adoption journey in that country is at an end, for all of our paperwork would expire before we're eligible for an adoption there. We could change programs and pursue an adoption in a new country, but that would put us back to square one not only on paperwork, but also on money.

At this point, I truly feel that we need to focus on the family we have and worry about expansion later. Even with the joy of our new family, it's hard to let go of the child we'd already had in our hearts. I know that there are plenty of hopeful adoptive parents out there for the children who need them, and I sincerely hope that they all find each other soon.

And now, as the late Paul Harvey would say, you know the rest of the story.

Cecelia Bo (born 1/6/10)

Fall Break

What a difference a week can make. I had all these projects planned for the summer and didn't get a single one done, and then over Fall Break we knocked out about four or five projects. Our future baby's room is cleaned out, paint touched up, curtains hung. . . it's looking real nice. My dad helped me hang some shelves. We switched out an old, ugly light fixture for something we liked, and we bought furniture! Pretty soon our practically empty bonus room will be a cozy den for the family. One of these days I'll post pictures. It's fun getting the house ready to hold more than two people who, at the moment, often aren't even there.

On the adoption front, before the Nepalese holidays started, quite a few people received referrals and several traveled and completed adoptions. I'm not sure of the total numbers, but it was more than just the first three. Our agency feels that we may receive a referral any day now. I'm still thinking it'll be sometime in 2010, but it'd be nice if they are right.

News at last

It's been over two months since I've posted. Last time, I was looking forward to a busy summer of home help. Now, I'm back at work and busier than ever. There's really two reasons I haven't posted. The primary one is because until this past week, there's been absolutely no movement in Nepal adoption (with the exception of people moving out of the program). The other reason is because I was ashamed of not finishing all those home projects I'd planned in June. Oh well, there's always fall break . . .

Anyway, to the adoption news! Two things have happened this past week. One is that the original three families who were matched with children back in May have been invited to travel. I know that two of the families have already left. Can you imagine? They found out they were traveling on Monday and had to leave on Thursday! And pack for a three week trip! They were so happy, though. And now, their waiting is over.

The other thing that happened this week is that Nepal has finally appointed a new minister over the Ministry of Women and Children. This is the move the rest of us have been waiting for. Now, hopefully, the rest of us will begin receiving referrals for children and invitations to travel.

As for Chris and me, we don't expect our adoption to happen this year. Even though we submitted our dossier in January, we think there was a problem with our guarantee letter, so we're not sure exactly where we stand in the waiting line. Rumor has it that there are around 150 families matched with children and the referrals are waiting to be released. We're not sure if we are part of that group. Even if we are, by the time all the paperwork goes through, it will still probably early next year before we can travel. With everything going on at home right now, next year will be just fine for us.

I hope everything goes well for the three families on their way to Nepal!

Update

It's been over a month since I've written. It's not really been so much a lack of time as a lack of news. A month ago we were expecting a referral "any day." Now, it's another stop and slow down of the process. Nepal has announced that they will not be sending out any referrals for the next month. First of all, they do not have a minister for this department, and they have to have one in order to sign some of the paperwork. They also cited technical problems as another reason for the slow down. No one really knows what this means. Rumor has it that there is somewhere around 100 matches completed and ready to be sent to hopeful families, but if that's true, they have not been sent out yet.

Here at home we've had a very successful garage sale, a good vacation, and then a vacation from the vacation. Now, I'm ready to get some more stuff done around the house for the summer. The future nursery is almost back to normal. I've got some touch-up painting a want to do, and I also want to refinish an old kitchen table I have and add it to the bonus room. It'll be great for scrapbooking, game playing, and perhaps a future homework station. I'll post some pictures when I'm finished.

School's out for summer!

This is the best time of year for teachers. Another school year is behind us and we have 10 full weeks of freedom ahead! My first order of business will be Spring Cleaning! We're going on a massive mission to de-clutter our house. In two weeks we're having a yard sale and anything that doesn't sell is going to goodwill. Two weeks from now, I shall once again have an empty "nursery." Then, we're heading out for a full week at Virginia Beach. I can't wait.

Our home visit went well despite the fact that our future nursery looks like a storage facility. We've received the updated homestudy and will be sending it in for our renewal soon. Things are going smoothly for the adoption. Now, if only we will get a referral. . .

From what I understand, the three "test" referrals that Nepal sent out were accepted by the families and are on their way back to Kathmandu. With any luck, this will lead to Nepal sending out some more.

Getting Closer?

Referrals have begun! A family on the yahoo adoption groups received a referral yesterday! Rumor has it that 25 or more matches have been made and some have been mailed (that's snail mail--from Nepal), and now one has been received. Our agency believes that we may be part of that first group of matches, but they can't be sure, and they can't be sure when we'll receive word if we were. It's definitely exciting. I'm on high alert until we know something more.

Our home visit was put off until this week. I won't be able to take the day off work to prepare for it, but I have all day today to straighten the house up a bit better. It's pretty clean, I've just got to do something with some of the clutter we seem to collect on a daily basis.

My friend Melanie and her husband are on their way RIGHT NOW to pick up their daughter in Taiwan. I'm so excited for them. She's an adorable little infant girl. They've been working on their adoption for three years or more, and I can't wait to see them get home with her at long last.

Adoptions on the horizon?

One of our fellow adoption families has reported that the matching in Nepal has begun! This is very exciting news because most of the families have been waiting since January or February and without any matching taking place, there was no way to know when anything would happen. So, hopefully, we will hear more soon and find out how quickly (or slowly) things will begin to happen for everyone.

We're still working on getting our visa approval renewed. It's set to expire in June, and there's a limit to how early we can send in the renewal paperwork. So, our social worker is coming back for another home visit this week. I'm not sure what this will entail, but I'm planning a day off so I can make the house look good. I know that it's not really necessary, but boy do I want a day off anyway!

Our "future nursery" has slowly turned in to a junk room. I guess that's bound to happen when you just have a big empty room sitting around where you never go. A year and a half ago, it was completely empty and freshly painted. Now, you can hardly walk in there. I assure you, it started out innocent enough. . . tossing things in that were found or given to us for the baby. Then Christmas came along and it became a great wrapping/decoration/gift storage headquarters. Somehow, it's just escalated from there. I'm planning a big yard sale in June, but what should I do with all this stuff for now? I'm hoping to just get it as neat as I can for the social worker and spend this summer making it a child's room again.